Monday, September 17, 2012

Evening Gratitudes

So a great way to fight sadness? Think about the many good things I do have in my life! Bringing back of evening of gratitudes....

---Had my seats detailed today (for just $30!) and was able to spray them to water protect. Although ironically I sweated hard core into the drivers seat just after my evening run BEFORE water sealing...OF Course :)

---Mom was a sport and got up early to transport me for the car appointment this morning...and she put up with my morning tears and general crankiness. Which might also be why Mom prayed on me mid-morning...I'm getting much better at accepting this new stage of Christianity that I'm in....and I've been so blessed to truly realize how the majority of my family & social circle are believers also.

---I was able to borrow Mom's car to go to work this afternoon.

---Yep, work. I went in to have a couple hours convo with my replacement in the vet job. Caught him up to speed on things and was able to hand it over while feeling great about his ability to take the center to the next level. JOB COMPLETED! I also fixed my syllabi for my in-person courses for this fall and copied them while on campus. Half-prepped for fall term.

---I spent part of the day looking at finances and thinking about employment. I am TRUSTING that it's all going to fall into place and was reminded of being more mindful of spending. However I know that my NEEDS are covered for the next several months at least...and I trust that the right job and finances will be provided.

---Let me reiterate...I know that my NEEDS are covered. Maybe not the desires of my heart....but at this point there's not much I can do about that. God knows my hearts pleas and most people I know are praying....and I finally had a moment on the drive home from work when I thought about just needing to let go. I'm still not signing anything and I'm still not done at all....but I have to let go in the sense of truly giving it over to God....or it's going to just keep eating me up. This doesn't mean there won't be daily moments of sorrows but it was a slight afternoon/evening break in the cloud today...and it's more of less lasted into tonight too.

---I spent a chunk of time this afternoon organizing the garage. Throwing stuff away, creating a stack for Goodwill. Separating out  things for Tall D. I also spent some time yesterday organizing some stacks that have accumulated over the last week. It feels good to remove unneeded items and to take stock of what I own. Still more to be done.

---I got the canner back this afternoon and hope to spend part of the day tomorrow taking care of those pears (let's hope they're still good!) and some apples I picked up late last week. Yesterday I helped can tuna at Tall D's...and he took the time to explain how the canner operates so I feel a little less intimated in my attempt. Just in case you actually might read this, thanks Tall D--much appreciated!

---I've been listening to a mix of Christian music and bluegrass---both allowing to purge the sadness and brighten the mood. Mumford & Sons speaks DIRECTLY to my heart these days though...

---The run this evening kicked my booty. G kept up a full charge out of no where, except for one part where I felt tears coming on so I picked it up until I hit the end of a slight incline to keep them at bay. Of course that backfired since I also was dehydrated and hadn't eaten an actual meal in about three the last half of the run I was struggling. Tall D surprisingly joined us this evening...and somehow nearly managed the approx 4 miles carrying a medicine ball!

---Since Mom's here I was forced to provide actual substance, so I ate something solid for the first time since breakfast on Saturday with Tall D.

---Saturday also granted me time with my gal N...and it was so great to have "lunch" with her. To catch up, hear what she's been handling, and also to feel her continual support. Much needed and appreciated.

---Excited for my next session with the counselor on Saturday to discover some more gems of wisdom...and continue to work through some of this sorrow, anger, regret, and fear.

---In all of the sadness of the loss of our friend Kyle, it's been nice to really reconnect with many of our old Louisiana crew, to support each other, and to offer prayers and support for Maggie as well.

---Also looking forward to book club this week with my gals and a day trip with my cousin to visit our baby cousin who is a military spouse up north.

---The texts, FB messages, comments, and sent Bible passages that have been full of support have meant so much to me in recent days and weeks---THANK YOU!


  1. I am impressed that you are seeking out in the positive while going through such a difficult time. It will probably be your saving grace to think of what makes you lucky, though, and I am glad you have a long list of things! Keep on keeping on!!

    1. Thank you! Sure trying. I've mainly been able to keep my head up since giving it over--just have to trust that He knows what He's doing whatever the outcome. Not always easy though....