Friday, January 4, 2013

Fearless 2013: Beginning Update

Don't worry there won't always be weekly reviews but I just wanted to touch base to update on some things that have been going on regarding this idea of being Fearless in 2013

However I'd like to take this opportunity to list out some of the ways I feel that I've already been fearless in the last half of 2012:
---followed thru with my word and visited my friends in GA and AZ using savings to get there
---took solo day-trip to fulfill my lifetime desire to further explore Charleston, SC
---took up running again and completed half-marathon distance on my own
---hiked to the summit of kings mtn with the dogs this summer and didn't worry about my fear of heights
---engaged in activities that make me uncomfortable: girls only backpacking, attending parties solo, branching out socially, went to a movie by myself
---agreed to the divorce and signed the papers; admitted defeat
---trusted God to provide and let myself be angry when I felt He had let me down
---turned down a job in belief that something better would present itself
---tried out new hobbies that I've always wanted to do
---asked for help via counseling, social support, and utilizing other health services
---calling out the ex, supporting him as I could, and ultimately cutting ties with him

Now, granted, not all of these choices have been the easiest and not all of them have put me in the best position. I have a decent chunk of change hanging out on my credit card due to not having additional supplemental income and as mentioned December was an internal steady decline BUT....that's part of the reason why I'm glad to be approaching 2013 as an entire year of Fearless and am working on MAKING more opportunities happen to meet my goals.

In the last two weeks (and this week especially) some decisions have been made:

---I've been trying to contact the AF Health Professional recruiters about becoming a Public Health Officer. This is something I looked into earlier last year also. Ironically, I'm maybe the only person in the world who struggles to get the military recruiters that I want to actually call me back. My three weeks of attempted contact (and my buddy that I sent to the office in WA) all have gone unanswered. But what I keep telling those I've shared with about this: when you're broke, bored, looking for a direction/challenge, enjoy telling people what to do, and think it'd be awesome to get paid to work out every day, joining the military is the perfect solution. The Air Force is definitely the route to go. Ironically the Navy is actively recruiting for similar positions but I just don't know how I feel about the Navy vs AF....and there's a good chance that this whole idea won't go anywhere anyway. I've contacted a lot of my vets or military friends and most of them think I'd do really well in the we'll see.

---I un-enrolled from classes yesterday. I'd gone back and forth about this decision, but my final choice yesterday came down to two things. 1) I really want to pay off my debts rather than continue to accumulate more and 2) I don't want to go back to school until I really feel passionate that it's what I want to do. The last week I've had some funny dreams, some of which pertained to me sleeping thru or blowing off class---only further making me realize that I wasn't really into it yet. I didn't completely shut the door on the opportunity, as I emailed the instructors to let them know that right now wasn't the right time but perhaps in a year it might be. (Yesterday also saw me wondering if there might be a way to financially make it worth it to go back for my PhD.)

---I have applied for three daytime jobs to supplement my teaching position and am going to be consistently searching for others; all three of the positions thus far are incredibly different. One is management based and full-time, one is research based and part-time, and one is education/marketing based and full-time. Not sure any of them would pan out BUT I feel energized to keep trying until I land something to help me pay off the bills/debts and build up savings. I also have realized that I NEED something to distract me and to pour myself into beyond teaching, which is another reason I decided that this year I need to work rather than study.

---I had to text my parents and let them know that based on my decisions yesterday, I might have to suck up my pride and let them help me financially for a month or two until I can secure additional employment. Definitely not what I want to do whatsoever, especially since I was raised to be incredibly independent and I've been taking care of my own financial needs since I was 22 or 23. However as much as having to ask for help is difficult, I also recognize how incredibly fortunate I am to have parents that are able to assist, especially as I recognize not everyone has that option. I also recognize I'm incredibly stubborn, so just having them potentially going to help is extra incentive to get my butt in gear and secure an extra job so that hopefully their assistance was a suggestion rather than a reality-ha!

---Self-imposed challenges: 
A) 2013 Clothes Challenge--already explained....
B) but really it's a bigger part of an attempt to FREEZE SPENDING. I really have more than what I need period...and all fall I allowed myself one to three social outings a week with friends because I knew I needed the social interaction to keep me going....but I'm not going to lie...that social interaction has been piling up on my credit card. SO while I'm still wrapping my mind around what this should look like, I'm trying to figure out how to spend incredibly minimally. It's so much easier to just make a standard "I'm not going to spend on anything other than groceries and gas...." but I also know that life doesn't always work that easily, especially when I'm a social creature with friends spread all across the city. Ironically yesterday worked out a gal pal called me in the morning and wondered if I'd come over for dinner---a great way to still socialize and not spend much (gas & a regifted bottle of vino). So again, this no spending goal is in development but is definitely on my potentially comes a year (or at least six months) of socializing on the cheap...and not buying much of anything extra.
C) Reading through the Bible again this year. I'm not going to lie, my faith held me together initially during the divorce but Christmas found me questioning some things. Last time I read through the Bible in 2008, it was really good for my soul, balanced me out, and brought me further into a life of simplicity. I'm hopeful the same thing will happen this year, but regardless being in the Word almost daily (I have a tendency to read ahead on the plan) should be good for me.

---For now I've put counseling on hold. I recognize that there are still some things I'll need to work on, especially when I do start dating, but I honestly feel like between sessions I was processing through much of my realizations and issues already and really just reporting life to her when we did meet. I sent her an email yesterday to let her know my decision so we'll see what her reply thoughts are.

---Yesterday while looking for jobs, I also found a few potential volunteer options. Getting involved and giving back is something I want to engage in during this year of Fearless 2013.

There will be other items I know. But the items listed above are my biggest focuses currently for 2013. I know there will be new ways to push myself out of my comfort zone (skydiving?! even though it's against the no spending idea.....) and new physical challenges (maybe something other than running and Insanity, I'm starting to crave a new focus). I still want to follow-thru on my trips that I'd hoped to take as part of my Year 30 goals, even though I  know it will be difficult to achieve. Part of this fearless year is going to again be trusting that life will work out but also realization that I have the strength to make this life be something also. It's not going to be easy to stay in this mindframe but I'm incredibly, incredibly hopeful...and really that's all I can ask for! Yesterday was the first time that I greeted someone with "Happy New Year" and I actually really, truly meant it.

Some great strides have been made and pondered on in this first week of January....

So here's looking ahead to the rest of a Fearless 2013.


  1. Awesome! It sounds like you really have some great ideas for the new year. I think that is amazing. I also think the fact that you are able to re-evaluate some of the decisions you had already made (like going back to school) and changing your mind is awesome. It is much better to be fully into what you want in the moment than going through the motions because you had made this plan.

    I also think it is great that your parents are able to help you out! I know it is hard to ask for help. I have a hard time asking for help. Even after my babes were born via c-section, and my sister-in-law specifically came up here to help me. I couldn't ask for her help, instead I had her hang out with my mom :-) It is something I have been trying to work on. I don't necessarily need the financial help, but the time help. I seem to get in over my head a lot with the kids, and the cooking from scratch, and the (put anything here).

    I'm still going to put out there that you could make an awesome cross-country trip and find something new and exciting on this side of the country ;-) But, I think applying for new jobs is great, and the ability to have everything open is amazing. Oh the places you'll go as Dr. Seuss would say! (One of my favorite books by the way, and something I read to my kids pretty much daily!)

    I also read your clothes challenge post, and thought that I might like to join in, only to realize that I have literally purged my entire closet. I have a pair of jeans, a pair of yoga pants, several tanks and sweatshirts (I do live in Maine) 4 skirts that won't see light until at least April, a pair of sneakers and a pair of black heels...seriously lacking in clothes, but I have my daily uniform, and like 3 nice outfits for church :-) Maybe my challenge should be getting some new clothes!

    1. Do you know how awesome you are? AND how much I've appreciated your constant support this last year especially---thank you, really and truly missy! I hear ya on the asking for help---but you can do it too :) Just think of it as an opportunity to let someone give you something that you CAN use instead of giving you crap to stick on your shelf---haha :) And I totally hear ya on the options on the east coast---I'm sure there are jobs everywhere and I'm honestly not tied to Oregon at this point---mainly its the idea of moving xcountry by myself, dealing with the animals, battling with D about the dogs, finding housing for myself and four pets, and financing a xcountry move that holds me back :) And yes, you maybe should have a challenge to invest in basics---and then blog about finding frugal deals ;)

  2. It sounds like you are off to a great start. You definitely ended 2013 with some fearless decisions/actions. I hope that one of those jobs works out for you as not worrying about finances as much will really help you. It is tough to ask for help, but that is sort of what parents are for sometimes and I am sure they understand...

    1. For sure gal! My parents are amazing people so they're glad to help, especially as they know it'd just be short term. Plus we've been joking cause with Granny moving up here, Dad (& prob Mom) will be staying with me about once a month for a few days to visit we're calling it their "room deposit." Ha! And thanks for the well wishes about the jobs--I've decided that I need to be applying for at least one job a week, so finding a job will become my day job! Hope you're having a great weekend gal!

  3. I love these :) As far as social commitments, you'd be surprised how much you can do for cheap or free. Start suggesting coffee instead of dinner, or a free reading at the library instead of theater tickets, etc. And have people over more! A cheap bottle of wine at home is much more economical than drinks out. Host a potluck, tea, etc. You'll figure it out!

    1. Definitely agree and thanks for the suggestions! I had a similar lifestyle when I was really big into the simplicity movement in 2007-09, and already have told several of my friends that I'm tightening up and intend to not engage as much to save money. Sometimes in my over-anal brain I start to calculate the price of gas vs happy hr though and at times I think it's equal, so in some of those situations, I might just have to cut back or cut it out entirely! ;) But I'm totally sure there are more creative ways to cut costs too---like mtg at central park and getting a cheap pizza to split and vino in a thermos....good ideas gal, thank you! :) Hope you're having a good weekend!

    2. PS, I know you were a financial I might have to look at some of your old posts about pinching the pen to pay off the debts :)