Lisa just posted a "Things I'm Loving Lately...." and in leaving her a comment I realized that I need this bit of reframing in my life after this weekend.
The last few weeks I've been feeling much better about work & life (while still ruminating and questioning) and I've just been in a better physical, mental, energy space in general. I'm not sure if it's been the dietary changes, extra vitamins, tons of prayer, a lighter work load, or all together....but my head space has been great. I even was more than okay when my planned shrimp boil with friends fell through on Saturday and I had a ton of fun going out with best bud (who came up for the event) & another guy that we know. The next day I also was so happy to host and have a great visit with two of my longest standing friends and their kiddos.
So I've been a lil bummed to be a lil bummed as some resurfacing grief and annoyance has risen in the last 48 hours also. I really try not to talk too much about my ex, but he was also connected to all 4 of the adults I spent time with this weekend...and it meant that my mind is attempting to process (but avoid) thinking about some things :) As I hadn't seen my hometown friends (who are like extended family to me....and the husband shares a best friend with my ex) in about four years, there was a bit of lost time to cover. The other two guys (best bud & the other vet) both are former friends of my ex and have or are currently living with him. [And in general, I've been feeling some annoyance lately at the responsibility of having all three of the pets that the ex and I chose together. (I absolutely love my dogs and know they've been absolute blessings...but we chose them because he wanted them.)] In some ways, the time with our mutual contacts was validating for me, but it also just makes me sad to realize how he has treated (and continues to treat) others. The good news is: I'm always truly grateful that I learned a ton in the process and I have no doubt that I needed many of those lessons, I truly am much better off now, I had a great time with all of the contacts this weekend, and I know I'll get over this newest little mental hurdle :)
So in an attempt to do so, here are some of things that I SHOULD be focusing on, because truly life is pretty blessed and I need to be much more grateful. At 33, there is still so much of life potentially ahead with ample time and opportunity for amazing & simple moments to unfold :)
So what am I especially grateful for as of late?
--For solid sleep and comfortable mattresses.
--For slower weeks of one job and relishing the potential last bits of my flexible work style.
--For work covering my travel tickets and the fastest refund they've issued yet.
--For the ability to harvest fruits and veggies directly out of my yard.
--For a stable housing situation & that C will transition in this weekend.
--For a great visit with my long-time friends who are on the verge of transitioning back to Oregon.
--For great conversations with J about sustainable permaculture farming operations.
--For great conversations with D about holistic health care.
--For amazing moments with their lil tykes: picking berries in the yard, digging through the toy box, swinging on the playground, and just getting to know their fun personalities.
--For a fun weekend outing with best bud & our buddy E: pizza, annual bowling trip, getting down on multiple games of air hockey, burgers, and a 4 hour game of super scrabble.
--For the opportunity to reach out a hand and help others.
--For good books and time/motivation to read them.
--For my body pushing out miles while still taking ample opportunities to rest & restore it.
--For getting the dogs on trail to see their joy & smiles.
--For a great tea gathering & walk with an old gal pal.
--For the professional opportunity here at my feet.
--For the opportunities that the last year has afforded me to travel, grow, develop, and explore.
--For the friendships I have spread throughout this country and globe.
--For hot days followed by needed coolness & rain showers.
--For access to healthy food, medical care, anything I need for my needs, and freedom.
--For flowering bushes & Poppa's roses.
--For the love, support, & time with family.
--For my new great-nephew who should be arriving any time in the next week or two.
--For the immense peace, trust, and faith that arrives with routine prayer.
--For optimism in the midst of despair.
And the list could go on and on......cause truly there is so incredibly much to be grateful for....