Lent Work-Outs

The Lent Workout Challenge that I did was seriously great motivation to keep me moving daily (although I did miss one day at the beach over spring break when I was too depleted recouping on the couch :)). The dogs loved the walks that we did and I truly feel like they're slowly transitioning to being walkers rather than distance runners. It also was fun to add a bit more diversity to work-outs and to explore more areas. I'm still not pushing it hard by any means, but a bit of physical activity every day also more or less kept my stress and waist line in check.....

So here they are:
1: 3.6m jog, pushups/situps, 3 minute plank
2: 2m walk with dogs, 2 minute plank
3: 3ish m jog with dog
4: walked to grocery store w dogs
5: 3.2m jog w dogs
6: ran w dogs to car dealership (about 4 miles)
7: 2m walk with dogs, 2.5m easy hike with a friend & her baby, 3 minute plank
8: sets of push-ups
9: Jillian Michael's yoga
10: Insanity Power Cardio
11: 2m walk with dogs
12: 2m walk with dogs, 6 hour deep tissue massage workshop
13: Insanity Power Cardio, 1/2m dog walk
14: 5m jog w dogs
15: 2m evening dog walk
16: summitted Kings Mtn (5 miles total, 2500 ft elevation gain)
17: 2.5m easy hike w Landon & dogs
18: 3m easy dog walk
19: 3.2m jog w dogs
20: Insanity Max Conditioning
21: 2 minute plank, 3 sun salutations
22: Insanity Plyo Cardio
23: 4.5 hours of massages, 3m run w dogs
24: 4.2m jog w dogs
25: sets of push-ups
26: Warrior Rock Kayak (6 miles?)
27: 4.2m jog w dogs
28: 3m jog w dogs
29: push-ups & planks
30: 3.5 hours of massages, 2m jog w dogs
31: 20 pushups, 20 squats, sun salutations
32: easy beach walk w dogs
33: nada
34: 2m beach walk, 40ish push ups
35: climbed cape, ran beach, 40 minute kayak
36: 4.5m jog w hill sets, push ups & abs, cleaned two houses
37: 6 hours of massages
38: Scappoose Bay Kayaking (3 miles?)
39: 1.5m dog walk
40: 12.2m Wilson River hike
41: 3m Sellwood Park/Oaks Bottom wandering
42: 6m Sauvie Island beach hike & trail run
43: squats
44: 8 hours of massages

Not bad....! Altogether two kayaking outings, one yoga session, about 89 miles hiked/walked/ran, 29 hours of massages, 4 Insanity DVDs...and a variety of push ups, ab work, planks, squats, and sun salutations.

Now....to figure out a new motivation to keep myself routinely moving :)

The Year of Grace: 2014 Wrap-Up

Woo, alright y'all here's 2014 in review :)

2014 Goals
Regain financial independence
Pay off credit card--not happening but it's down some
Pay car loan to below $8k (close!)
Altered clothes challenge
Run 15 miler for fun (close enough 14.5 trail jog on Oct 31)
Finally try surfing (Aug 30)
Go kayaking again (April 26, May 17, May 24, July 9, July 13, Oct 25)
Backpack in Olympic Forest (Hiked Sept 14)
Hike/trail run entire Wildwood Trail (1 day) (Mar 1st)
Roadtrip somewhere out of Oregon (ONP--Sept 14)
Potential:Run in official half marathon race (Dec 14) Sprint tri in summer

What a year it was...full of ups and downs, but truthfully if I had to put a "word" to last year...it was GRACE. Grace for myself, grace for others, recognizing grace all around, and doing my best to give more grace.

The year itself ended with about 922 miles covered via hiking, running, snowshoeing, and backpacking. I did only 6 Insanity DVDs and 5.5 yoga you-tube sessions to cross-train, but I covered about 20 miles via kayaking, tried surfing & snowboarding, and went on one SUP outing.

Of the miles via my own feet:
I met my goal to walk/hike the entire 30 miles of the Wildwood Trail in one day:

I ran in the Shamrock Run 15k and averaged 8:46 min miles:

I met my extra goal of running in a half-marathon race:

I had an epic back-to-back outdoor weekend early in the year that included a 16 mile hike in Tillamook Forest with an evening trip to the beach and followed up with a 8 mile snowshoe trip on the mountain the next day:

Tall D & I did some epic day hikes for mileage this summer, including completing as much of the Wilson River trail in one day as was possible at the time, partially fulfilling my goal of exploring Olympic National Park by driving & hiking around part of it, and backpacking in the Wallowas:

I made my longest solo day mileage by completing an epic 22 mile hike/trail run on Eagle Creek Trail this fall...and I smiled in the rain the whole way:

And I more or less made my goal of completing a 15 miler by defeating my personal challenge of making it around Hagg Lake:

I continued to be in love with kayaking and am looking forward to eventual future kayak/camping excursions:

I learned via completing my life goal of trying surfing that while it's fun to explore new options, sometimes it's satisfying to recognize that we already have so many good things going:

I accomplished my goal of a road trip out of Oregon in a round about way by taking the day trip to Olympic National Park in September and by the recent day trip to Seattle. While I think I originally meant for that goal to be farther distance.....it's all about grace :) and both day trips were rewarding!

This year I also spent the period of Lent in a social media time-out & allowed myself to finish processing and grieving my divorce and the loss that occurred to my world view in the years prior. It was a much-needed and well-received experience and I came out of Lent renewed and ready to move forward. In June, I finally "let go" on a trail in Tillamook Forest and headed into a new future. 

Ironically I also was involved with my ex twice this last year for short periods of time, but I re-learned hard lessons in the process...and eventually shut the door hard & firm. I was reminded that the core concept of self-respect needs to be forefront on my heart & mind...and I ended the year with my maiden name fully re-engraved in my heart and legally changed for good.

I participated in online dating on two different occasions. Spent the first part of the summer with a great guy. Continued to develop ideas for what I truly need in a partner and to be aware of whether or not I'm really ready to focus on a relationship. I completed the dating challenge my girlfriends gave me and truly enjoyed the process and the learning that came from it.

I had some random and scary health flukes in March & April that made me realize that my body was truly exhausted. It took 2-3 months to truly re-stabilize and I spent the rest of the year focusing on grace for my physical health & listening more to what my body actually needed. The fact that I ended with 922 miles out of the original 1000 mile goal that I had for the year, makes me incredibly happy that I was even able to come back this far. I've learned to not take my physical health for granted.

I made it through massage school. While it had to be slowed down and pushed back (grace!) and at times was a total test of my patience, on Christmas Eve my certificate of completion, final transcript, and alumni card were all delivered to my front door. Thank God it's over :) but I truly learned so much in the process.

In total the year had five housemates plus M's lil guy & visiting grandma. A recurring theme this year was also learning to put my foot down and learning to say no. Removing Housemate M from the home was a hard experience but proved to have incredibly positive outcomes. My current long-term housemate has been here for seven months now and we had two great short-term gals share space with us also. 

My financial goals are still in process but this is where grace comes into play once again. I don't doubt that those financial goals WILL be met in years to come...and I'm continuing to make headway...just not as fast as I already wanted. My car loan was almost paid to the goal and I have no doubts that I'll make the goal for this year ahead. The credit card is less than it was at the start of 2014 but there's still plenty of progress to be had. And while I'm not financially independent...I'm feeling a bit more "financially stable" than I have in a long, long time...and I can see that independence is on the 2 year horizon. 

I did however also more or less make it through 2014 completing my no buy clothing challenge. I stumbled with one unexpected Target trip but those two clearance items have been worn multiple times. I feel pretty good coming out of 2014 having only bought two new regular items of clothing.

The year also included more food preservation than ever before, wonderful moments of U-Picks, backyard growing, & kitchen canning. The suburban farm also grew to include a hodge podge of 4 chickens, the rebuilt arbor & coop, and a completed pallet-to-compost bin project. In terms of increasing sustainability, 2014 saw many advancements.

In the fall I emotionally fell on my butt for one primary reason, I had a near life-altering accident from which I walked away with no damage or injuries, and I hired my cousin to be my life coach to help hold me accountable toward refinding joy in my life and moving me toward goals. In less time than I could have ever imagined, I ended 2014 with an offer to get to Africa, fundraising ideas, steps for short-term professional development, the potential for a new dream career evolving...and a general sense of fulfillment.

So there we have it. I hiked, I ran, I finished school, kept kayaking. I made payments and continued sharing housing. I spent time with family and reconnect with my siblings. I enjoyed so many moments with the many amazing friends that I have in my social circle. I continued to teach. I changed my name and started chasing my dreams. I grieved, I exhausted, I rebuilt, and I ended the year.... happy, content, and satisfied.

I spent yesterday the final day of 2014 sleeping in, interviewing a new potential short-term housemate, and then I took an old college friend on a day hike to Tillamook Forest. This is someone I haven't seen in 12 years, who was given my number to reconnect, and who is in the process of a finalizing divorce that he isn't sure he actually wanted. To spend the final day of the year on trail with an old friend, seeing nature & exercise bring happiness to his face, and asking hard questions while offering advice....was probably the most perfect way to celebrate a year of growth, of grace, and of learning. 

The evening included a hot shower, a phone call to Granny, a Lara Croft movie marathon surround by the dogs & my cat, one glass of wine, and an early bed time just after midnight curled up cuddling my firework scared dog. Even though I had many other NYE offers, this low key night was the most appealing thing to end a pretty amazingly full year.

Hoping that your end to 2014 left you feeling just as solid. While I'm looking forward to this new year that we've entered into, I do so not with unrealistic expectations or hope, but with trust that the right and true opportunities will reveal...and that life will be enjoyed in all the many satisfying moments offered when we're not looking. Heading into this new year, I have no "word" for what the year might bring, but I hope it's one of restoration, trust, happiness, and many moments of slowing down. Africa is my focus, but I'm open to whatever God decides to reveal in the days, weeks, and months ahead....I mean come on He works and reveals in the most interesting of ways...so here's to just enjoying the ride ahead. :) Onward into 2015--love, peace, and joy to all of you!

Holiday Half Marathon

Woohoo---I can officially say that I've ran in a half-marathon race. :) But I'll totally say that it's much much easier to just go the distance on the days that my body is already feeling it! :)

This picture is of Pioneer Square in the heart of downtown before sunrise this morning:

Since I rode the MAX from Beaverton to the Adidas HQ where the half was held, I had plenty of time to admire the view while waiting for the Yellow Line to arrive. So many of the surrounding trees were full of big crows caa-ing at the arriving morning. Taking pictures, chatting with a few other race-goers, and listening to the birds somewhat distracted from the 37 degree morning :)

I ran this race with an acquaintance from high school, who had just run the Portland marathon in October. We had one training run together two weekends ago that went well and then we individually did long runs last weekend. Ironically we both showed up to the race right as it was starting so we actually crossed the start line about four minutes after 8am. And let me tell you, Amy was the one who kept our pace going. In our training run, we'd done well together but at the race today I could tell she definitely had gotten used to longer runs. While we were about evenly paced, she has a much better race mentality than I do. :) Without her being there I probably would have walked a bit in mile 11 or 12. I did great until about mile 9 although I was ready for the turn around at any point near mile 7. Miles 10.5-12 were definitely the most struggle though. I told Amy she could go on ahead and while she did jump out in front a bit, she never totally took off which made her the perfect pacer for the last several miles as I continued to want to keep her in my sights. So, so glad she agreed to run this race with me! My adjusted time was 2 hrs 8 mins 14 sec or averaging 9:47 minute miles. Not bad in my mind. Ironically I think most the pack today averaged in the 9 minute mile so it was kind of neat to always have lots of people jogging together throughout the race. I definitely was also thankful for the various water stations today!

Post-race!

Honestly I don't know that I'll do another official half-marathon race. There's talk of the Shamrock 15k in March which I enjoyed doing last year, so I'll probably sign up for that again though. Anything under 10 seems like it's fun more than anything else. Plus I'd much rather make long distances with hiking or just on the days when my body decides that it's good to go for it, rather than continue to do a lot of half-marathon races. It was a great experience though and I'm really glad that I went ahead and finished the year off with it!

Once I made it back home post-race, it felt amazing to get in the shower and warm up again. The rest of the afternoon was pretty incredible also: fajitas (one of my favs!) followed up with a couple of hours in my favorite soaking pool with a hard cider, great conversation, and a handsome friend. Wrapped up the rest of my homework for this term this evening and now curled up in bed surrounded by the dogs and about to pull up an old movie. Pretty awesome day all around, even if I've only been running on about 4 hours of actual sleep :)

17 more miles to go this month to make 900 total on the year, but today's half pretty much finished off the rest of my 2014 physical activity goals! And after the health issues in April, I'm pretty stoked to have made those 900 miles AND came back to end the year with the half!

2014 Clothes Challenge in Review

The 2014 altered clothes challenge granted me permission to pick up something new if it was needed (ie running/outdoor gear) and allowed a more or less free pass on accessories, while not allowing any new clothing purchases for fashion purposes. I did stumble a bit in September and walked out of Target (dang it Target!) with the striped skirt and polka dot blouse in the pictures below (total price: $20!). I've been to my favorite thrift store a few times this year to pick up a couple of items and it's been great to be back in the mindset of "check the thrift store first before thinking of buying it new..." I also inherited two of Granny's velvet blazers and a couple of incredibly beautiful necklaces. Purchased accessories this year included a couple of scarves, a replacement work tote bag (my handle on the old one is breaking), 5ish new pairs of earrings, a couple chunky bracelets, new leggings, & a necklace or two. Altogether I feel like the clothes challenge is ending very well this year however and I'm really proud that I've done as well as I have with this challenge in 2014. 

Even with buying limited new or used items, I cleaned out my closet during late summer and was reminded of just how much I HAVE and that I truly don't need even that much. I could probably downsize even more if I was honest.

So here are a few of my favorite outfits from this last year:

(Ironically, most of these are from this fall)

One of my best looks from the start of the year.

Skirt & shirt both thrifted in prior year.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! I have to admit that I'm completely in love with that striped skirt. 

New skirt, 4yo ruffled blue chiffon top and blue flats

LOVED this too. Best part? Everything except the belt is second hand. Top and skirt came from separate thrift stores, shoes I bought off a friend.

The other highlight of this fall is that my aunt altered a bunch of my work clothes to fit my smaller frame. I can finally wear actual work pants & have more work tops for the first time in two years :)

New blouse, Altered trouser jeans, 2yo boots & cardigan

And here becomes the highlight of one of my absolute favorite thrift store purchases of the year:

The thrifted oversize sweater/shawl

This literally has been my go-to first date outfit for the fall :) Well, now it's worn with leopard print flats or tall brown boots and additional gold jewelry. 

Black skinnies were my fail purchase from last year, black t-shirt secondhand from summer housemate, thrifted sweater.

Perfect transitional summer/fall outfit! 4yo military style dress, thrifted belt & sweater.

And this, this has become my go to outfit of the winter!

Leggings, 5yo beat up brown boots, thrifted long gray sweatshirt & sweater :) SO COZY!

I haven't decided what all the challenge will be for 2015 or even if there will be one. It definitely does help keep me from impulse purchases and also keeps me out of the stores in general so there are no impulse purchases :)

Scappoose Bay Kayaking

Cunningham Slough trip:

Daddy osprey bringing home the feed, while mama circled around us

Saturday Evening Outing:

Bald eagle nest w /baby in nest

Gorgeous views

Heading toward sunset thru the channels

Heading toward the wetlands 

Wetlands Tour:

Beaver house

Lots of geese by the docks

These tours were full of great views & wildlife. I was so impressed with the amount of bald eagles and great blue herons that we saw each time on these tours, and there is something so incredibly peaceful about spending time just paddling out on the water. The trips weren't always 100% smoothly completed (ie there were too many people on one trip, a trainee who fell in, issues with going against current to get out of the wetlands, & a late return on one trip), but the general location, friendly staff, and quality of rentals are great. There is much to explore in Scappoose Bay and I enjoyed renting through Scappoose Bay Kayaking. I love the friendly staff at Portland Kayak Co also, but the boat traffic around Ross Island can be pretty intense, so I'll probably be doing most of my rentals from SBK these days. Regardless, kayaking is...amazing! And I can't wait to eventually be able to attempt a kayak camping trip :)

March's 100 Mileage: Wildwood Trail & Shamrock Run

March saw a total of 103.1 miles covered, and that marks my first sort-of 100 mile month.

30.2 miles were covered on the Wildwood Trail Hike the first weekend of the month. In all actuality this was more like a LOONG walk through the city woods, so I didn't know whether to truly count all the miles as our pace wasn't always heart pumping. Even without the 30.2 miles, I still covered over 70 miles just through running and another hike or two.

View of Portland From Pittock Mansion:

A small waterfall along Wildwood Trail

The trail alongside the creek

So glad to reach Mile 30! 

And at the very end--happiness!

The trek went well overall, although the temperature dropped about 8 degrees while we were on trail and the group wanted to break more than what I'm used to. My Raynaud's got going and at one point, I couldn't feel my hands for close to an hour and wasn't able to open a granola bar when we stopped for fueling. There were five of us from the Meet-Up group who did the trek however, and overall it was an enjoyable experience and made it much easier to accomplish than if I had tried to do it by myself this year. First physical activity goal of the year was accomplished!

The hike is part of what pushed me over an emotional hurdle though (and I had a painful somewhat urgent medical issue surface early this month) and so except for the other main event in March that was already scheduled, I've taken lots of rest days this month and have dropped my pace while only running on the days when I really feel called to do so.

The other big event this month was participation in the Shamrock Run 15k:

These pictures are from the Shamrock website, but hopefully it's okay to use them (??). Overall the run went really well. I took it easy with pacing while still navigating around people in front of me that were slower. The start was fairly slow and didn't have the pacing groups they'd advertised, but altogether the race was pretty easy and felt like a regular weekend long run....although with 11,000 other 15k runners :) I was probably overdressed, but I'll take dripping sweat over being too cold any day! :) For most of the 9.3 miles I felt like I had a smile on my face, minus the final trudge of the last crest of Twilliger Hill when as I finally thought to myself "I'm so over this damn hill..." I realized it was the last bit of the hill and I laughed to myself. Heading back down off the hill I picked up the pace and my smile was even wider, although as I passed the amazing veterans carrying American flags while they ran, my mind also thought about those who our nation has lost and about Maggie's running of races in memory of her fallen husband. Once I was down to the final mile, I picked up the pace and sprinted the final half mile to the finish line. My overall pace was 8:44 minute miles. Altogether the event was a nice experience (and a way to raise some extra money for our scholarship students), but if I DO complete a half this year I need to make sure that I have a newer pair of Vibrams! 

The dogs and I got in an easy spontaneous hike (with some gentle trail running) Sunday afternoon trying to conquer more sections of Gayles Creek. It was supposed to rain mid-afternoon, but once the sun continued shining I couldn't deny the forest calling. Ironically after treking through the flooding creeks we reached a sign about 4ish miles in that the rest of the trail is closed until summer....  After finding ways to navigate around most of the creek overflows uptrail, it was fun running straight through 1-2 feet of water on the return trek! 

But other than the Wildwood event and the Shamrock Run, all the rest of the miles in March were kept slower paced and more gentle on my body. (I also had one Saturday run with a newly forming local meet-up group, but I wasn't a big fan of the leader's style.) I'm still hoping to try to continue averaging 80 mile months during the year, but I'm also not wanting to punish my body. On the weekends I am trying to do the occasional run with an acquaintance who is contemplating training for the marathon this fall, so if I help her with training then maintaining mileage shouldn't be much of a problem in the couple months ahead. It's interesting to see how easily the body adapts, as these days regular 6-10 mile outings don't seem to be any problem.

Next on the goal list for the year to be accomplished: kayaking again. I'm registered for three (free with my tuition waiver) spring outings (and waitlisted for a paddle boarding one) and I'm really looking forward to those weekends. (And I'm oh so hopeful there will be a summer community ed surfing option!)

Exercise Recap, Insights, & Goals

This post is a month overdue. In Sept I wrote this post here, which contained my year exercise stats from the year prior since I had been tracking. I also discussed that I was nervous about the busyness of the fall schedule with all the upcoming changes and being able to maintain my physical activity levels. In order to try to counteract the potential upcoming scheduling issues, to make up for all the "off" days I'd had the year prior AND to set a new challenge, I had decided to spend September working out every single day, even if that meant just stretching for 20 minutes and rolling out on the foam roller. 

So the Sept Totals came to: 82.4 miles ran/hiked, 4 Insanity DVDs, 6 you-tube yoga sessions & 17 miles by bike and a weekend learning to paddleboard. (Also some of the mileage was from the hellish backpack trip.)

But more importantly I learned a few things from that month. I read several bloggers who cover some pretty impressive mileage and cross train a LOT. When I look at what they accomplish, I'm always in awe. If I'm 100% honest, I don't know that my body is made that same way...and that's part of what September reaffirmed for me. Yes, I can up my mileage and I can make myself work out every day. Yes, I'm proud of what my body accomplished and how fast I recovered from that initial backpacking trip, but I'm not going to lie....by the end of that month my body was physically just plain tired. I could still push it (and I did) but I should have listened to my body and taken an easier month for October.

Instead I pushed it because I got caught up in another friend based challenge of trying to push through to make another 80 miles this last month (while also adjusting to less sleep and a lot more stress), and I have no doubt that this was a major reason that I ended up sick this last month. Not taking a break led to my body mandating rest and recovery via illness, and I spent almost half the month too sick and wiped out to do anything physically active.

As much as I love being physically active and it was fun to see my body push continually and efficiently in September, I also know that actual recovery days and breaks are SO important for me. And in fact, I think I actually do better with distance running when I'm LESS active continuously. For example, this last month I was able to run a 13 miler for the first time since last winter, felt fine the next day, and then ran a 8 miler two days later. Back to back "longer" runs aren't the norm for me....but I honestly think part of that ability came from doing nothing many of the other days along the way. In fact I'm honestly contemplating running my first official half race (the Holiday Half) because I know if I can run a half when I'm sick and haven't run for five days, then I should be able to get up off the couch without training and run a half on my old undergrad roads. But we'll see....especially now that I've signed up for a new challenge...but more on that in a second.

Ironically my other thoughts on this are that the 13 miler was....amazing, I felt great, and I could have pushed on. I know that I could run a marathon (and reading everyone's Chicago recaps I actually started daydreaming about it....) but the truth of the matter is that I don't feel like putting the strain on my body or breaking it down. Running that 13 miler, my IT band was tight by mile 8, my feet were sore from the Vibrams (which is another consideration as I'd have to figure out and adjust to a different footwear option) and all the stairs at school have made my knees start to feel creaky and old....I just don't (currently) see the point in breaking myself in order to make distance. I'm not saying it won't happen. I DO have a 20 miler distance on my life goals list...but at this point a full marathon, I'm not so sure. Maybe with regular massage and acupuncture I could make it happen, but I just don't know that it's worth it....

Now...all that being said. It's now November and I've had a month to adjust to this crazy schedule. I'm still hacking (in fact they gave me an inhaler to try to stop the cough from continuing), but I'm tired of feeling too crappy to work out and I only have a month to go til there's a real break with time to sleep, heal, and recoup..so I'm trying to figure out how to get back into some routine exercise. Insert: My gal D's friend Emily (we all went to high school together) has become a huge fitness motivator and just created a FB "group" where we can all motivate/encourage each other along toward our fitness goals. (Awesome idea, no?!....I'm trying to convince her to make this into a job....)

So for this month (and after watching last month), I'm setting realistic, obtainable physical activity goals but ones that will still challenge me due to time constraints etc.

November's challenge is to work out 4-5x weekly (although I can do a double if I need to...and this means 3+ miles of running/hiking, Insanity, 30-60 minutes of a youtube yoga video, or 6+ miles biked) with two long runs (10 or more miles) this month. I also intend to drink 80 oz of water a day (I've been noticing I'm dehydrated)...and not eat any ice cream or candy this month (I almost never do but totally succumbed last month!! although I get a pass on Thanksgiving). On a side note: I'm also hoping to do at least two things for my spiritual health this month--either submerse in the Bible, go to church, volunteer...something.

So there ya have it. I learned some things (I need and do better with major rest days, stretching really helps me, having GOOD vibrams is important) and I'm headed into another month looking forward to getting myself toned up again. (On a side note: I might be trying to end 2013 with 800 miles in the bag. That means that I'd have two months of about 70 miles ahead...but definitely think it's doable!)

And what do you think, can I run a half without training in December mind you? I'm a little nervous about maybe pushing this month and then undermining myself because of it next month. We'll see. But it'd give me something to check off my goal list, as would the sprint tri that I'm contemplating for next summer.....

What are your fitness or health goals lately?!

Exercise Wrap-Up & Fit Fall

So if you follow me on Instagram then you've already seen these stats and pictures. On my blog under the Exercise Accountable tab, I document each day what I've done exercise wise or if I have done anything. I'm not going to lie, posting my exercise routines (or lack there of) over the last year has done wonders to keep me motivated and sweating. I'm not trying to be a role model. I'm trying to keep myself active, sane, and to be true to my job as a health educator.

Adding up all the numbers was fun and it was interesting to see the various activities I've been involved with (mainly this summer). Although my stats are much less than many of the other physical activity bloggers I've enjoyed following this year, I'm still happy and proud of the mileage I've made and the new hobbies I've engaged in. This is way more than I've ever consistently done. And my monthly goal of achieving at least 60 miles has kept me at it as well.

Routine exercise & my dogs (usually together) have made me a much happier version of myself. I've pushed myself farther this last year than I've ever been able to go before and I've enjoyed covering so many miles watching my dogs break out in jolly smiles. (Although so many miles has also worn them down and I'm going to need to do a better job of monitoring their mileage/overuse in the coming year....)

I'm also in better physical shape than I've been in a long, long time which in turn makes me feel better about myself. Running/exercise has been the best and probably cheapest therapy throughout this last year. I've ran away tears, anger, and thought through frustrations. I've hit runners highs and used exercise as a mood lifter and way to wake myself up in the afternoon. 

I've also come to have a better overall awareness about my body. I realize I have the capacity to do more than I thought but I can tell when my body needs a break. I feel my muscles, bones, ligaments, joints in ways I haven't before and I've learned of the benefit of cross training, eating, and stretching. In fact, I had to relearn how to eat in order to work out as much as I have been doing. 

Counting up my days and stats, I also realized that 1/3 of the last year I did nothing at all either due to vacation, lack of time, injuries, or just plain wanting to recoup. So to start this next tracking year cycle, I decided to challenge myself in a different way for September. I decided that every single day this month I would do something physically active...even if I'm tired, even if I'm feeling broken, even if it's the last thing I have time to do...because at the very least I can stretch for 30 minutes and that's more than nothing...and because I know that physical activity does more than just benefit my physical body. I've also been trying out some youtube yoga videos (why is real yoga so expensive?!) and am going to try to integrate more of those into my regular rotation. We're halfway through the month and so far so good in terms of adhering to moving!

I'm a little nervous about the upcoming busyness that this fall will bring but am hopeful that the more organized I am that I can continue to schedule regular time for routine physical activity. Plus I'm hopeful that I'll continue to keep garage Insanity work-outs, youtube yoga work-outs, and stretching as easy ways to get at least 30 mins in routinely. Additionally Mom inherited a treadmill from my aunt's move and I've already warned that if it doesn't get used, Dad will be transporting that sucker to my garage for winter (rain-free) mileage, which will also cut down on worrying about outside light available hours. So here's hoping that even with the increased busyness, this year of tracking will be even more successful than the year prior! 

Year 30 Review Plus Bucket List?

So I always see the 30x30 lists and wish I would have done something along those lines if I had seen them years ago. In theory, I always like something to be moving toward....although the last several years have also shown me the need to "go with the flow" more and to just recognize that sometimes life sort of takes it's own major twists and turns. There's no controlling life....but there's much enjoyment to be had along the way if we're capable of just rolling with it.

Ironically, as I reflect back on year 30....I don't feel like it went as well as I had originally hoped, but it also surprised me in many, many ways and made me more aware of my own ability and strength than I ever would have imagined possible. You know how people can spend a lifetime describing you one way...but you just never believe it? I still don't know that I would describe myself as a "strong" individual (especially when I am the one who knows where all the insecurities and major moments of weakness/darkness exist and surface in my mind), but if there's one thing that running specifically showed me during the last year, it's that I'm much stronger and capable than I ever would have thought possible. In fact, if there's one thing alone (beyond the two dogs) that saved me during the last year and that I'm most proud of (as shallow as it sounds), it would be the shape that I got myself in, the way my body looks and feels, and the fact that I officially feel like I can call myself a "runner" and a fitness lover. When you can control nothing else in life, at least you can generally control the amount of miles you get in or the amount of times you sweat it out in nature....and those things seriously made all the difference over the course of the last year.

So what did the last year bring?
Well three major blows:
---The chaos of the separation and the finality of a divorce that I didn't really want
---The diagnosis that while it's incredibly slow growing (and being monitored) my father does again have cancer
---The loss of Tall D's coworker who was KIA
A few smaller blows:
---Not being able to secure additional employment
---Having to remain still (aka no affordable jobs elsewhere and not being able to afford the acceptance to grad school in Denver)
---Accumulating more financial debt once my savings depleted
---Having to owe in taxes (although minimal) for the first time ever
---Having to submit to needing helping from my parents
---Struggling emotionally off and on throughout the duration of the last year
---And while very minimal, recognizing that Anna is aging and can't push like she used to

But there have been some really awesome MOMENTS and accomplishments in the midst of the blows as well:
---Seeing my girls on my trip to Savannah & taking the day trip to Charleston
---Having Katie fly out to visit last September (when I most needed it) & showing her around Oregon
---Learning how to kayak & snowshoe
---Going white water rafting
---Buying beautiful dishes that never cease to make me smile every time I use them
---Backpacking trips this summer
---Meeting some awesome people via my various housemates
---Running the Starlight 5k with Tall D & Ernesto & the 10k with Sheila
---Achieving half-marathon mileage with the dogs & all the many miles throughout the year
---Showing Cait around Portland & her trip to our hometown in early spring
---The fun week having Christina back in Portland: biking, kayaking, & celebrating
---Spring break road trip to San Francisco with Matt & many hikes/runs together
---Settling the house/patios/yard into something comfortable & representative of me
---Increasing food preservation & cooking skills
---Dinners or drinks spent with friends just letting me be

I accomplished much on my list for this year:
Kayak lessons and trip (Aug '12 & July '13)
Half-marathon distance (Dec '12)
Finalize marriage/divorce (Oct '12)
Girls backpack trip (Sept '12)
Buy dishes (July '12)
Visit out-of-state friends (Aug '12; Mar '13)
Donate $ (Aug-Dec '12) although financially this hurt me in the end....
Seagull tattoo (July '12)

Although I didn't get to everything...like Argentina, surf lessons, paying down my debts, or volunteering in Africa (although I had a contact....I got nervous about spending the money without having a job lined up after). I also have yet to find a new job or a new direction in which to launch myself to allow for financial independence.

Recognizing that 30 and my list was over, I then thought about trying to make a list of 35 goals before I reach 35, but you know what...being that it's only four years away (and that I've spent the year struggling to find a job and pay my bills) I don't know that what I started to list was really realistic. And when I tried to extend that list to 40 before 40, well that list and some of the items on it made me a little freaked out. (That list also made me realize that there might be some work I need to do regarding very separate types of futures that I desire...and that while there are some things I like the sound of in theory I don't know that I REALLY want to go thru the steps to complete those items....like getting a doctoral degree and running a marathon...) There are also a lot of things that I can list that sound fun, but I definitely won't feel I'm letting myself down if I don't complete them. So while I'm still making a list, a lot of it is in theory and are ideas rather than things that I have to complete.

Although there are definitely things that I DO want to do:
Return travel to see family & friends & the remaining parts of Argentina
Volunteer trip to somewhere in Africa
Find a new job/direction & gain financial independence
Get.out.of.debt completely
Continue outdoor pursuits & try new ones
Make a positive impact on others
Continue to travel & explore new parts of the US & world

And there seem to be some major themes I'm noticing about what made me happy this last year and what I've tentatively listed under the tab thus far:
Being active outdoors
Sweating it out
Trying new things & learning new skills
Doing little easy things for others & being appreciated
Spending sometime alone
Enjoying moments with friends "just being"
Teaching others new skills or showing them new things
And these are things I'd like to continue to embrace...as I continue to evolve and figure things out.

So for now you might find a new tab that lists items that I think I'd really like to do at some point in my lifetime (whether they get accomplished or not...well edits might happen). But like all things, it's nice to just list ideas and things on the blog...and maybe ruminate in writing :)

Are there things that you really, really would like to make sure to do in life?

Virtual Happy Hour

Spun off the post at Girl with Red Hair which is a spin off a spin (and I've seen this on other blogs)...I'm changing this slightly to be a Virtual Happy Hour. Conversations over brews can be some of the best (especially if there's great bites to be had!)

Image from here.

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I'd probably try to listen to what you had to say first, as I've started realizing how incredibly easy it is for me to be both self-centered and self-serving...and because I truly want to know how YOU are doing in this incredible thing we call life....

If you and I were to meet over a beer...I'd probably share about the animals in my house. How Anna swiped my extra piece of toast w/ pear butter straight off my plate the minute I left the room. Or how Lady meowed on the roof tonight until I would let her back inside. Or how after all these years Major still desperately wants to make Lady his love...even though she can't stand him.

If you and I were to meet over a beer...I'd encourage you to watch the documentaries I watched this weekend. How Vegucated and Hungry for Change reinspired within me a focus on local and organic...and reminded me of how much we're a product of what we eat. How Vegucated showed the harsh reality of animal treatment within factory farms and that even though I've known...I haven't let myself KNOW. How I also went to the winter farmer's market on Saturday....and scoffed at $6/dozen eggs...and then bought bulk eggs at Costco, because I actually know the family that produces them. And that the films recreated some lost passion for the raised beds, the chicken coop, the home-canned goods I'm opening and to those to come....and potential future.

If you and I were to meet over a beer...I'd tell you how I was offered a supplemental teaching gig at my institution to teach a course for veterans....but that I can't take it as I'm already maxed out in credits in the health department. I'd tell you how excited I was while knowing it wasn't an easy opportunity...and how I'm slightly hopeful this might get me back into the veteran realm in a way that it's easier and healthier for me. I'd also tell you about staying after class on Tuesday for 35 minutes to chat with two of my veteran students offering support and understanding of their current experience....and how much part of me realizes that I AM gifted with this population....but yet it's hard to set boundaries and to face my own personal failures in the veteran realm.

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I'd share with you that the ex and I have been communicating for the last week...and I mean actually truly communicating for the first time in a long time. I'd assure you that our communication doesn't mean we're trying to become involved with each other and that we're both cognizant of the large gray area and need for boundaries. I'd also tell you that what's been shared during our communication has answered some questions, cleared some of the old frustrations/hurts/anger, and in many ways brought some extra peace to my soul.

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I'd tell you that the extra peace (and the communication) has quieted a lot of the pent-up anxiety and distractedness I've been feeling for the last few months. It's made me less borderline-obsessive about working out so hard and so much...and it's also ignited a desire in myself to try to enjoy food a bit more. This week I ate some cookies...and I've fixed regular meals during the last few days. I'd also tell you that this month just feels like a "rest" month for my body--a month of multiple days off from working out, a month to heal/restore/renew, and a month to fuel my body. I'd also (over)share with you and tell you that I want some of my fat back...if only because I miss my old boobs. ;)

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I'd share with you the fact that I don't know how I've become so busy....or how time gets away from me so fast. I'd tell you that I'm spending 2.5-3 days a week grading while still trying to see at least 1-2 friends/family socially each week, trying to still look/apply for jobs, communicate with potential dates (at least so they don't lose interest!), go to church and keep up on Bible reading, get out into nature, love on and run the dogs, interview/arrange a new housemate, continue to be a decent housemate to A who is still here til the end of this week, attend professional development opportunities, and all the other regular items of existing. I'd tell you that I'm unsure how I could do everything that needs to be done AND work a true full-time job on top of it, but that I know that life will settle a bit once taxes are filed and the housemate piece is fixed.

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I'd tell you how every day I'm learning new things about myself and areas that I can continue to work on both professionally and personally. I'm feeling that God has me where He wants me and that He'll continue to guide my path accordingly. I'd probably tell you that my boss and several others keep telling me not to give up on the naturopath idea...and how much basic food advice I've given out to people this week. That I'm listening to my inner voice to guide my realizations about how I behave in relationships (both romantic and platonic) and granting myself time to decide what to do with much of this information. I'd tell you how I both feel the gift and the pressure of time in life....and wonder at what point He'll truly show me to change the course of my direction.

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I might tell you that so far this clothing challenge is easy peasy although I am reusing items quite frequently. I could live in those thrifted skirts my mom found, my blouses, a few Ts, my skinnies, and flats. I might also tell you that the no spend challenge isn't too difficult since I just avoid stores like the plague. I might also tell you that even with being extra thrifty last month, I still went in the hole....and how fortunate and humbled I am that my parents feel honored to help me provide this month. The next two months my finances will be fine just on my own income (and with potential housemate) but I might also tell you how much of life truly feels like a humbling experience all around these days....

If you and I were to meet over a beer....I'd realize that happy hour was coming to an end...and that while there was still so much left on my heart and mind to share....that we both had other items to attend to. I'd  debate whether to give you a hug since I'm STILL gauging how to re-engage with some of my older behaviors that still seem so foreign.....and then I'd walk out with you and wish you a great rest of your evening and work week ahead!

Fearless 2013: Beginning Update

Don't worry there won't always be weekly reviews but I just wanted to touch base to update on some things that have been going on regarding this idea of being Fearless in 2013. 

However I'd like to take this opportunity to list out some of the ways I feel that I've already been fearless in the last half of 2012:

---followed thru with my word and visited my friends in GA and AZ using savings to get there

---took solo day-trip to fulfill my lifetime desire to further explore Charleston, SC

---took up running again and completed half-marathon distance on my own

---hiked to the summit of kings mtn with the dogs this summer and didn't worry about my fear of heights

---engaged in activities that make me uncomfortable: girls only backpacking, attending parties solo, branching out socially, went to a movie by myself

---agreed to the divorce and signed the papers; admitted defeat

---trusted God to provide and let myself be angry when I felt He had let me down

---turned down a job in belief that something better would present itself

---tried out new hobbies that I've always wanted to do

---asked for help via counseling, social support, and utilizing other health services

---calling out the ex, supporting him as I could, and ultimately cutting ties with him

Now, granted, not all of these choices have been the easiest and not all of them have put me in the best position. I have a decent chunk of change hanging out on my credit card due to not having additional supplemental income and as mentioned December was an internal steady decline BUT....that's part of the reason why I'm glad to be approaching 2013 as an entire year of Fearless and am working on MAKING more opportunities happen to meet my goals.

In the last two weeks (and this week especially) some decisions have been made:

---I've been trying to contact the AF Health Professional recruiters about becoming a Public Health Officer. This is something I looked into earlier last year also. Ironically, I'm maybe the only person in the world who struggles to get the military recruiters that I want to actually call me back. My three weeks of attempted contact (and my buddy that I sent to the office in WA) all have gone unanswered. But what I keep telling those I've shared with about this: when you're broke, bored, looking for a direction/challenge, enjoy telling people what to do, and think it'd be awesome to get paid to work out every day, joining the military is the perfect solution. The Air Force is definitely the route to go. Ironically the Navy is actively recruiting for similar positions but I just don't know how I feel about the Navy vs AF....and there's a good chance that this whole idea won't go anywhere anyway. I've contacted a lot of my vets or military friends and most of them think I'd do really well in the military....so we'll see.

---I un-enrolled from classes yesterday. I'd gone back and forth about this decision, but my final choice yesterday came down to two things. 1) I really want to pay off my debts rather than continue to accumulate more and 2) I don't want to go back to school until I really feel passionate that it's what I want to do. The last week I've had some funny dreams, some of which pertained to me sleeping thru or blowing off class---only further making me realize that I wasn't really into it yet. I didn't completely shut the door on the opportunity, as I emailed the instructors to let them know that right now wasn't the right time but perhaps in a year it might be. (Yesterday also saw me wondering if there might be a way to financially make it worth it to go back for my PhD.)

---I have applied for three daytime jobs to supplement my teaching position and am going to be consistently searching for others; all three of the positions thus far are incredibly different. One is management based and full-time, one is research based and part-time, and one is education/marketing based and full-time. Not sure any of them would pan out BUT I feel energized to keep trying until I land something to help me pay off the bills/debts and build up savings. I also have realized that I NEED something to distract me and to pour myself into beyond teaching, which is another reason I decided that this year I need to work rather than study.

---I had to text my parents and let them know that based on my decisions yesterday, I might have to suck up my pride and let them help me financially for a month or two until I can secure additional employment. Definitely not what I want to do whatsoever, especially since I was raised to be incredibly independent and I've been taking care of my own financial needs since I was 22 or 23. However as much as having to ask for help is difficult, I also recognize how incredibly fortunate I am to have parents that are able to assist, especially as I recognize not everyone has that option. I also recognize I'm incredibly stubborn, so just having them potentially going to help is extra incentive to get my butt in gear and secure an extra job so that hopefully their assistance was a suggestion rather than a reality-ha!

---Self-imposed challenges: 

A) 2013 Clothes Challenge--already explained....

B) but really it's a bigger part of an attempt to FREEZE SPENDING. I really have more than what I need period...and all fall I allowed myself one to three social outings a week with friends because I knew I needed the social interaction to keep me going....but I'm not going to lie...that social interaction has been piling up on my credit card. SO while I'm still wrapping my mind around what this should look like, I'm trying to figure out how to spend incredibly minimally. It's so much easier to just make a standard "I'm not going to spend on anything other than groceries and gas...." but I also know that life doesn't always work that easily, especially when I'm a social creature with friends spread all across the city. Ironically yesterday worked out perfectly...as a gal pal called me in the morning and wondered if I'd come over for dinner---a great way to still socialize and not spend much (gas & a regifted bottle of vino). So again, this no spending goal is in development but is definitely on my radar.....here potentially comes a year (or at least six months) of socializing on the cheap...and not buying much of anything extra.

C) Reading through the Bible again this year. I'm not going to lie, my faith held me together initially during the divorce but Christmas found me questioning some things. Last time I read through the Bible in 2008, it was really good for my soul, balanced me out, and brought me further into a life of simplicity. I'm hopeful the same thing will happen this year, but regardless being in the Word almost daily (I have a tendency to read ahead on the plan) should be good for me.

---For now I've put counseling on hold. I recognize that there are still some things I'll need to work on, especially when I do start dating, but I honestly feel like between sessions I was processing through much of my realizations and issues already and really just reporting life to her when we did meet. I sent her an email yesterday to let her know my decision so we'll see what her reply thoughts are.

---Yesterday while looking for jobs, I also found a few potential volunteer options. Getting involved and giving back is something I want to engage in during this year of Fearless 2013.

There will be other items I know. But the items listed above are my biggest focuses currently for 2013. I know there will be new ways to push myself out of my comfort zone (skydiving?! even though it's against the no spending idea.....) and new physical challenges (maybe something other than running and Insanity, I'm starting to crave a new focus). I still want to follow-thru on my trips that I'd hoped to take as part of my Year 30 goals, even though I  know it will be difficult to achieve. Part of this fearless year is going to again be trusting that life will work out but also realization that I have the strength to make this life be something also. It's not going to be easy to stay in this mindframe but I'm incredibly, incredibly hopeful...and really that's all I can ask for! Yesterday was the first time that I greeted someone with "Happy New Year" and I actually really, truly meant it.

Some great strides have been made and pondered on in this first week of January....

So here's looking ahead to the rest of a Fearless 2013.

A 2013 Clothes Challenge

So in the spirit of Fearless, I've been thinking of some challenges and areas for personal growth for myself. One area that I've shared on here somewhat has been regarding clothes/outfits and in recent months I've mentioned wanting to get by with less....

Well..... I've been feeling inspired by Whitney over at Along the Lines of Style, who has challenged herself this year to not buy much for her closet. Now granted Ms Whit has quite the selection already, but her thoughts regarding this challenge are some that have been resonating with me for a while now...and I'm going to attempt to see if I can engage in a similar challenge for the next six months at least.

As I've mentioned before, my wardrobe is a bit sparser than it has been since I'm struggling to have most things fit me correctly anymore BUT I totally believe that I can get by with what I have, although I do have a couple caveats. IF I obtain full-time employment in an increased business environment, then I might need to invest in a pair of work pants that fit, as currently I have no work pants that fit, and maybe a few other minimal items. In the case of needing to replenish should I remain at this current size, then I will first attempt to find thrifted items rather than new. Additionally, I'm still free to raid mom's jewelry boxes.....and to try to get her to size down some of the items that I already have in my closet.

So what DO I have in my closet that I'm starting out with? Ha, ha, ha.....although it's actually way more than necessary.

A variety of dresses, most of which are more made for warmer temperatures and at least half of which require the use of a belt to fit correctly.

On the self above are my sweaters and tanks for layering.

Shirts, button-downs, cardigans, blazers are hanging--again some shirts need to be belted and most cardigans are no longer fitted.

On the shelf above are my Tshirts and long-sleeve shirts, with half of my long-sleeved shirts mainly being used for working out.

My skirts that fit (the pants and skirts that currently do not fit are hidden out of the picture but I'm not getting rid of them).

Pencil skirts: gray, cream, herringbone, merlot, dress jean, black

Aline: brown floral, blue dotted, white & black pattern, white w/ black floral, black pin stripped

On the shelf are two pairs of black leggings, two pairs of the same skinny jeans, and three pairs of casual jeans.

Flats: 2 pairs black, brown, blue, gray, leopard, orange, red.

Mary Janes: gray suede, old black

Peep-toe: zebra, brown, tan wedges, nude wedges

Sandals: brown, cream, black

Boots: brown flats, black leather, gray suede, old brown suede

Basket of bracelets

Earrings

Necklaces (which I hardly wear)

And this is where pajamas, sweats, swim wear, and all my work-out wear gets stored---probably the most used stuff!! :)

So while it's not necessarily the 30 item challenge, I originally thought about, I still think this is a good one. Plus at this point I've already made it two months without buying anything new for my closets....so I'm hopeful another six to twelve won't be too challenging either---we'll see. Now to remix and match (and maybe resize) what I DO have! :)

Anyone else care to join in?!