Mid Feb Update

Sometimes I lose the blogging bug, even though a lot of the time I think I'd be better off if I wrote more. At the very least I could have more of a record of life :)

So some things from the last month:

--filed taxes. put the refund toward the credit card bill and am saving some to cover september's rent.
--just learned to snowboard this last weekend....AWESOME! the ex/Tall D, his veteran buddies, and I went up on Saturday and three of us were learning. I was impressed at how well I did and I actually loved it a lot more than I thought I would!
--my buddy R moved to Texas.
--most weekends I've been hanging out with the ex again for the last few months.
--housemate C moved out on the 2nd. housemate M will probably be here for a while. I've posted an ad on airbnb for the guest room for the next month BUT....housemate M's lil boy and the baby's grandma will be staying here from the end of March until mid May...and yes you read that all correctly. should be interesting to have a lil one in the house...
--applied for a full time position with my employer...doubtful i'll get picked up for it but wouldn't it be wild if i somehow got an interview?! (i DO hope that i get an interview as my cover letter was a million times better this go round...AND this field is truly my passion) these jobs come around rarely
--had a professional deep tissue massage on my legs as part of my massage program and it was seriously amazing to have my leg muscles "unglued" from each other. I haven't ran in a week now due to the weather, and I'm itching to get back out to it.
--the massage also made me realize how many different ways there are to use the knowledge from this program and my instructor had suggested that i go to this particular LMT based on us having similar personalities. it was great to see someone very similar to myself doing so well in the profession and hear her encouragement to go into private practice. (she also mentioned the great flexibility she has and how much she loves her job....SO encouraging)
--somehow i've been fixing food like crazy that's actually pretty delicious and nutritious. I've been paying attention in my courses as we've talked about muscle conduction so right now I'm all about getting ample amounts of protein, iron, calcium, potassium, good fats, and sodium. I used some gift cards and pay day to stock up on food at Costco and to get good meats. I made my first steak this week, so I think it's even more official that my days as a vegetarian are over.
--the snowstorm from this last weekend made me thankful for my AWD vehicle and finally taught me how to drive on snow. it was a 2 hour commute to my house from the other side of downtown the day the snow hit and then I spent most the weekend on the other side of town anyway. the dogs and i got out for a couple walks, the guys and I went night sledding down a hill in a park, and then beyond the snowboarding we just watched movies and relaxed.
--and I'm actually really falling in love with the area where the guys live. I've never been big on living on the East side but there's something about the Sellwood area that is just sort of appealing to me....

....which brings me to the fact that I've been realizing that part of the reason I've been keeping so "busy" is because there's a lot of residual stuff from the divorce and the last year that I'm not wanting to deal with. If I'm busy then I don't have to think, to deal with any of it, to process, etc. I'm also realizing that I'm focusing so much on living life to the fullest because I'm sort of unsure of who/where/what direction I want to go. For the last year I've just been treading water, but now I'm beginning to realize that I probably need to really sit and re-evaluate and figure out who I want to be. I feel like (at times) there are two versions of myself duking it out and also fighting against the "standards" to which I was raised and that I feel society expects of us....but then again, for those very reasons, maybe staying out of my own head and just letting life continue to evolve as it has been might just be the best option. :)

Half-way to March already! Happy February to you all....