In the spirit of love day (but really isn't every day love day?!), I thought I'd actually check in long enough to share some of the many things I'm loving currently. In truth, there are way more than I could list here, as several times a week lately I've been crying totally blissed out, happy tears.
1) Having the house back: L moved out earlier than I expected (a bit before the end of January), but truthfully I have been SO ready to live solo again. The dogs and I have been loving sleeping with the bedroom door open, being able to turn the heat off during the day and leave the back door open so the dogs can come and go as they please while I'm at work, not having to worry about excess electricity usage (and hopefully seeing utility bills drop), running around in whatever I desire to wear without worry, and really just being able to have full run of the house as I desire. I rearranged the furniture (again) but I really am loving the current lay-out. And truthfully every single day, I'm just so incredibly happy to be living alone....and to finally have hit a financial place where it's even possible.
2) Budgeting & Meal Planning: Last month I decided to pinch as many pennies as I could and since I also tend to struggle with eating enough/well, I have been implementing the 1-2x a week shopping trip, 1-2x week meal prep, and limiting all other spending. I've cut back on social engagements so that I'm not really eating out (I give myself the okay once a week max). I'm trying to only fill the car up once a week also, so am mindful of hiking locations and errands, etc. I'm also being even more mindful of utilities than normal, buying in bulk when possible, and not allowing myself to go into any stores (other than for groceries). In reviewing last month's expenditures there are only groceries, gas, and regular bills.
3) Incredibly Rewarding Job(s): It's a BUSY term between the two institutions and the load I took on this term, but truthfully my job is so incredibly rewarding. It's challenging at times, but it allows me to interact with a wide variety of students and to work in the fields that I love. Next term will be a lighter load than normal, which also might allow me to fit in a few massages for the clients who have been requesting them.... I also had some great news land about work for next year that I'm really excited about although it will change my schedule immensely....and I'm also scheduled to return to Tanzania this summer, Argentina next December with students, and I get to venture to Yale's campus for a conference in April (which I'm pretty excited about both for the content and the fact that I've never been to the NE before!).
4) Other Travel Plans: Beyond the work travel, I just bought my ticket for a girls weekend in New Orleans in Sept, I'm planning on tacking on a week trip to see Reg D in his Peace Corps placement in Malawi after the Tanzania trip concludes, if funds (& work permits) I might also try to tack on a stopover elsewhere on the way back to the US, I potentially will get to D.C. this spring also, and I'm also hoping to get at least a long weekend trip in to see my gal Cait (& visit a potential PhD option) in Arizona.
5) Awesome Family Time & News: In January I had a lot of really wonderful moments with family. I hosted my dad & granny for dinner, had cousin A over for dinner a different night, celebrated cousin Ang's bday, had a coffee/tea gathering at cousin A's, met cousin M for coffee, had a great day getting my aunt up to the mtn & meeting cousin M & her hub for lunch, and had family dinner night. As much as I was less socially engaged friend-wise, I was also more family engaged. My dad also had some really awesome health news arrive that was pretty incredulous and I'm still beaming from it.
6) The Billion Other Little Things: Like a soaking wet hike up a mountainside today with an old friend. Like super warm days this last week that allowed me to get out in the yard finally putting the raised beds to "rest" from last fall and also adding compost & turning up the soil in preparation for planting this spring. Like seeing my credit card statement the lowest it's been in a looong time and knowing that it will be paid off in full in just a few short month(s)---even with a few items added to it this evening. Like registering for the Flat Traffic Half marathon for the 4th of July (even though I swore I'd never run another official half marathon). Like chopping 3 inches off my hair and refinding a bit of the random wave of my 30s return. Like glistening up & bringing out the cast iron for use in the kitchen again...and day dreaming of all the other "green" items that will be coming back into my life. Like seeing Dad's old picnic table, newly sanded, painted, and functioning as my main table finally fulfilling the dream of a "farmhouse" table. Like knowing financial "stability" is almost here (hoping, hoping!). Like finally reading a book for fun until 2am on a Thursday last week. Like polished tea kettles with no oil splatters. Like the awesomeness that comes when a student asks what else you're teaching so they can make sure to take you again. Like dinners of steak, red wine, and asparagus. Like stew in the crock pot & bread in the breadmaker while clothes dry on the laundry line. Like dogs who make you feel like you are the best thing that happened to their day. Like arroz con leche (aka rice pudding) sprinkled with cinnamon for an evening snack. Like finally unpacking some of Granny's old china. Like feeling like the house that you've (consecutively) lived in the longest in your entire life (aka this one) is finally a home. Like even in the tiredness and when reflecting back on the struggles, recognizing that life delivers you exactly where it wants you...and being oh so happy to be here.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Saturday, January 9, 2016
18 Adults, 1 Child, 5 years, 1 Home
The title to this post is....18 Adults, 1 Child, 5 years....and that is exactly how many individuals I have shared space/house with over the course of the last five years (come March). That does not include the two dogs, two cats, and 6-9 chickens that I've had in this space, nor the additional small dog that I allowed to join us for a very short 6 weeks.
The overall breakdown is as follows:
2011-Spring 2012: Ex and I; fall-spring 2 friends lived w/ us
June-Dec 2012: I was solo in the house
Dec 2012-Nov 2013: 7 short term housemates; 1 guest dog
Dec 2013-Nov 2014: 1 repeat housemate (& baby grandma & kid), 1 long term housemate, 2 short term housemates
Dec 2014-Feb 2015: same long term housemate, 3 short term housemates, 1 repeat housemate, Reg D
A couple of my friends have joked that I should write a book about the experiences...because I've met a LOT of people and learned a ton about others and myself in the process.
Out of those 18 people, 2 were friends before they moved in, 3-6 became decent friends while they were here and I still actively am in contact/friends with 2-4 of those, and 1 was a romantic partner for a while. Two struggled with alcohol issues while they were here. One turned out to be a chain smoker who smoked in a chair on the property 2/3rds of the short time she was here. Two were given 30 days notice and asked to leave. One tried to retrain my dogs. One had issues with perpetually lying. Two ate other housemates food. One repeatedly hit on another housemate even though he was married and 2-3 actively hit on any/all of my single male friends (sometimes even including the men I was dating). One told me after moving in that she was not okay with any males ever staying in the home while she lived here...even in the guest room, even if he was married, even if there was no romantic notion whatsoever. The shortest stay was one month, the longest consecutive stay was 10 months, the longest total stay was one year, and the average length of stay for most was 2-4 months. Six were here on internships/fellowships, four had solid professional careers, 1 was exploring the business market in Portland, 1 was a fellow massage school student, and most were in transition in some form or another (either between travel/work, moving to Portland, moving out of Portland, or trying to live somewhere short term while figuring some long term options out).
I've always preferred short term housemates. Mainly because I'm a bit anal retentive :) I don't sleep well if people are up moving around or making noise. I like the kitchen & bathrooms to stay clean. I like things to look organized and generally operate in an "everything has its place" sort of existence. I can live with most things for a few months but once it starts to become a longer term situation, then my need to take back over starts coming out more. I'm not easy to live with long term if people do not operate in a similar fashion...thus it's better for them and for me if we co-exist in more of a transitional fashion.
Living with so many people I've also come to realize a few things:
1) People will ALWAYS present best foot forward. It's our human nature to do so. The longer I've been involved in the rental scene, I've come to operate by a 2/3 principle. 2/3 of what someone tells me generally tends to truly be how that individual operates. How we see & describe ourselves can be different from how we actually are...and this would go for myself as well more than likely. This also ties into #2.
2) Definitions of living standards differ. My idea of "clean" or "noisy" can be very different from someone else's standards. In my ads I always state that I'm a clean by appearances sort of person, but not a clean in terms of bleach or product sort of individual. I have had to explain to 1-2 people that clean also means that the bathtub does not have visible grime on it and no soap on the counters. If you're looking to rent, it's always a good idea to specify in writing whatever those standards of importance for you actually mean.
3) I'm always in awe of how some individuals are naturally not mindful. I found this to be true when I had to live in the dorms also. There are so many easy ways that people can do small things to make living with someone else easier, but frequently I've found that people do not recognize the ways that their actions can impact another.
4) People who are renting from another tend to somewhat expect to be taken care of. Out of those 18, only 1-2 actually bought their own cleaning supplies and routinely cleaned the rental room/bathroom & helped out consistently with other household duties. That same 1 person also contributed to baking supplies & spices, oil/butter, plastic containers/foil/baggies/paper towels, laundry soap, etc without being asked. Almost all the rest either never did or I had to ask them to purchase additional supplies.
5) People mean well but sometimes "when the cat is away the mice will play." I run a pretty utility mindful house--meaning I keep the heat low, turn off lights when I leave the room/home, and try to be mindful of water usage. I try to be upfront with housemates before they move in that I expect the same out of them. I also operate on a "I stay out of your personal stuff, please stay out of mine" manner. The times when I've traveled....that utility bill skyrockets however (as in higher than it's ever been both in summer & winter) and I've come home from countless runs/work days with the heat jacked higher than it needs to be (ie I'm sweating profusely). I've also had a scarf, a buddy's hat, and a pair of pants "disappear" as certain housemates were transitioning out. Additionally one of my dogs almost got out of her collar and ran into an oncoming car after a housemate continually loosened her collar even after she assured me she wouldn't do it again.... Rule of thumb: Most people don't communicate straight forwardly, don't want to deal with confrontation, & will agree to things even if they'll never put those things into practice.
6) When people are looking for somewhere to live, they don't always listen to everything you told them.....about your expectations, about your pets routines/needs, about the house and its natural quirks....Enough stated.
I sometimes get asked about how to write an ad or rent successfully to another. The truth is that I don't have any tried and true strategies. What I can say is that overtime my selection process got more fine tuned. I learned to write better ads, to wait & be more selective, to not compromise on house rules, and to read through the lines. This doesn't mean that in the last year or two I haven't looked forward to having certain individuals move out however, but it does mean that I've had better compatibility & success with matches over the last two years. For me the short term window truly has been best because in the case that you find someone who is good for short term but not for long term, then your time together is short anyway. There is always the potential to renegotiate together as the original timeline nears whether or not you or s/he would like that individual to stay. I've had some housemates completely surprise me in good ways too. One thing that I have not tended to do but would advocate actually doing, is to have some sort of established rental/sublet written agreement & a down payment established. At times I did call references and this is definitely a good practice as well. (Although let's get real, unless it's 2-5 years of prior rental reference that you require, no one is going to supply a "bad" personal reference to you...)
I can honestly also say that the individuals who I rented to during my short window on AirBnB also tended to be more established....but due to the nature of the site, many of those also had more of an expectation of being hosted. (And I also was very selective and communicated a lot with the people I rented to from there....). I'm contemplating doing super short term windows on AirBnB again this spring (ie 2 nights to 2 weeks) mainly for four reasons. 1) It truthfully does supplement my rent. 2) It's fun to meet new people. 3) Sometimes I feel bad having this large home and yet only having just me live here. Call it my environmental heart, but it's sort of a waste of total space...and the housing market in Portland can be challenging. 4) After using AirBnB for my own travel needs, I feel like giving back to other travelers.
Well...and then there's 5) if i DO travel again this summer for work...then I'm going to need to sublet the house for 1-2 months. (Note: this time payment upfront, down payment, rental agreement, AND references will be required.) Ideally I'm hopeful to sublet to a couple or small family, who is cat friendly (ie can feed the cat & give him the occasional lap to lay on), and who can pass the lawnmower over the lawn 1-2x a month. Hopefully if that is that case..the perfect match will present itself :)
All that being said...I'm incredibly fortunate....to have been able to share this space with so many individuals, to have shared time/stories/lives with each of them too, to have learned a lot in the process, to have a home that is flexible/changeable and yet constant, to have been humbled to share more than I always wanted to, to have to trust that His plan was bigger than mine, and to have landlords who have truly desired me to stay and supported/trusted me enough to allow me to continue to sublet spaces within what is truly their extended family's home.
March makes five years in this home, five full years back in Oregon, and the longest I've continually lived in the same house during my entire life. This house has seen my life go through enormous transitions. It's held my mutual tears & laughter, hosted numerous gatherings, warmed my heart & body, inspired decoration, benefited from kitchen dance parties, housed guests, watched the dogs mature & age, functioned as my nest/office/ground...but truthfully throughout these last five years its proved itself to be my HOME. What started out as a month by month rental agreement with the potential to only last six months and that every year I've questioned whether it would be better to move on elsewhere...this home has remained steadfast and grounded. In March (or potentially next month...even though it's slightly before I financially wanted but internally I'm oh so ready...), this house will truly return to be just that...my (& the animals') home. What a five years it's witnessed, but what a steady blessing it's been and continues to be....
I'm grateful, so grateful, for my home.
(...and ironically, more than likely....I have no doubt that this space will probably get shared again sooner than I might imagine. :))
The overall breakdown is as follows:
2011-Spring 2012: Ex and I; fall-spring 2 friends lived w/ us
June-Dec 2012: I was solo in the house
Dec 2012-Nov 2013: 7 short term housemates; 1 guest dog
Dec 2013-Nov 2014: 1 repeat housemate (& baby grandma & kid), 1 long term housemate, 2 short term housemates
Dec 2014-Feb 2015: same long term housemate, 3 short term housemates, 1 repeat housemate, Reg D
A couple of my friends have joked that I should write a book about the experiences...because I've met a LOT of people and learned a ton about others and myself in the process.
Out of those 18 people, 2 were friends before they moved in, 3-6 became decent friends while they were here and I still actively am in contact/friends with 2-4 of those, and 1 was a romantic partner for a while. Two struggled with alcohol issues while they were here. One turned out to be a chain smoker who smoked in a chair on the property 2/3rds of the short time she was here. Two were given 30 days notice and asked to leave. One tried to retrain my dogs. One had issues with perpetually lying. Two ate other housemates food. One repeatedly hit on another housemate even though he was married and 2-3 actively hit on any/all of my single male friends (sometimes even including the men I was dating). One told me after moving in that she was not okay with any males ever staying in the home while she lived here...even in the guest room, even if he was married, even if there was no romantic notion whatsoever. The shortest stay was one month, the longest consecutive stay was 10 months, the longest total stay was one year, and the average length of stay for most was 2-4 months. Six were here on internships/fellowships, four had solid professional careers, 1 was exploring the business market in Portland, 1 was a fellow massage school student, and most were in transition in some form or another (either between travel/work, moving to Portland, moving out of Portland, or trying to live somewhere short term while figuring some long term options out).
I've always preferred short term housemates. Mainly because I'm a bit anal retentive :) I don't sleep well if people are up moving around or making noise. I like the kitchen & bathrooms to stay clean. I like things to look organized and generally operate in an "everything has its place" sort of existence. I can live with most things for a few months but once it starts to become a longer term situation, then my need to take back over starts coming out more. I'm not easy to live with long term if people do not operate in a similar fashion...thus it's better for them and for me if we co-exist in more of a transitional fashion.
Living with so many people I've also come to realize a few things:
1) People will ALWAYS present best foot forward. It's our human nature to do so. The longer I've been involved in the rental scene, I've come to operate by a 2/3 principle. 2/3 of what someone tells me generally tends to truly be how that individual operates. How we see & describe ourselves can be different from how we actually are...and this would go for myself as well more than likely. This also ties into #2.
2) Definitions of living standards differ. My idea of "clean" or "noisy" can be very different from someone else's standards. In my ads I always state that I'm a clean by appearances sort of person, but not a clean in terms of bleach or product sort of individual. I have had to explain to 1-2 people that clean also means that the bathtub does not have visible grime on it and no soap on the counters. If you're looking to rent, it's always a good idea to specify in writing whatever those standards of importance for you actually mean.
3) I'm always in awe of how some individuals are naturally not mindful. I found this to be true when I had to live in the dorms also. There are so many easy ways that people can do small things to make living with someone else easier, but frequently I've found that people do not recognize the ways that their actions can impact another.
4) People who are renting from another tend to somewhat expect to be taken care of. Out of those 18, only 1-2 actually bought their own cleaning supplies and routinely cleaned the rental room/bathroom & helped out consistently with other household duties. That same 1 person also contributed to baking supplies & spices, oil/butter, plastic containers/foil/baggies/paper towels, laundry soap, etc without being asked. Almost all the rest either never did or I had to ask them to purchase additional supplies.
5) People mean well but sometimes "when the cat is away the mice will play." I run a pretty utility mindful house--meaning I keep the heat low, turn off lights when I leave the room/home, and try to be mindful of water usage. I try to be upfront with housemates before they move in that I expect the same out of them. I also operate on a "I stay out of your personal stuff, please stay out of mine" manner. The times when I've traveled....that utility bill skyrockets however (as in higher than it's ever been both in summer & winter) and I've come home from countless runs/work days with the heat jacked higher than it needs to be (ie I'm sweating profusely). I've also had a scarf, a buddy's hat, and a pair of pants "disappear" as certain housemates were transitioning out. Additionally one of my dogs almost got out of her collar and ran into an oncoming car after a housemate continually loosened her collar even after she assured me she wouldn't do it again.... Rule of thumb: Most people don't communicate straight forwardly, don't want to deal with confrontation, & will agree to things even if they'll never put those things into practice.
6) When people are looking for somewhere to live, they don't always listen to everything you told them.....about your expectations, about your pets routines/needs, about the house and its natural quirks....Enough stated.
I sometimes get asked about how to write an ad or rent successfully to another. The truth is that I don't have any tried and true strategies. What I can say is that overtime my selection process got more fine tuned. I learned to write better ads, to wait & be more selective, to not compromise on house rules, and to read through the lines. This doesn't mean that in the last year or two I haven't looked forward to having certain individuals move out however, but it does mean that I've had better compatibility & success with matches over the last two years. For me the short term window truly has been best because in the case that you find someone who is good for short term but not for long term, then your time together is short anyway. There is always the potential to renegotiate together as the original timeline nears whether or not you or s/he would like that individual to stay. I've had some housemates completely surprise me in good ways too. One thing that I have not tended to do but would advocate actually doing, is to have some sort of established rental/sublet written agreement & a down payment established. At times I did call references and this is definitely a good practice as well. (Although let's get real, unless it's 2-5 years of prior rental reference that you require, no one is going to supply a "bad" personal reference to you...)
I can honestly also say that the individuals who I rented to during my short window on AirBnB also tended to be more established....but due to the nature of the site, many of those also had more of an expectation of being hosted. (And I also was very selective and communicated a lot with the people I rented to from there....). I'm contemplating doing super short term windows on AirBnB again this spring (ie 2 nights to 2 weeks) mainly for four reasons. 1) It truthfully does supplement my rent. 2) It's fun to meet new people. 3) Sometimes I feel bad having this large home and yet only having just me live here. Call it my environmental heart, but it's sort of a waste of total space...and the housing market in Portland can be challenging. 4) After using AirBnB for my own travel needs, I feel like giving back to other travelers.
Well...and then there's 5) if i DO travel again this summer for work...then I'm going to need to sublet the house for 1-2 months. (Note: this time payment upfront, down payment, rental agreement, AND references will be required.) Ideally I'm hopeful to sublet to a couple or small family, who is cat friendly (ie can feed the cat & give him the occasional lap to lay on), and who can pass the lawnmower over the lawn 1-2x a month. Hopefully if that is that case..the perfect match will present itself :)
All that being said...I'm incredibly fortunate....to have been able to share this space with so many individuals, to have shared time/stories/lives with each of them too, to have learned a lot in the process, to have a home that is flexible/changeable and yet constant, to have been humbled to share more than I always wanted to, to have to trust that His plan was bigger than mine, and to have landlords who have truly desired me to stay and supported/trusted me enough to allow me to continue to sublet spaces within what is truly their extended family's home.
March makes five years in this home, five full years back in Oregon, and the longest I've continually lived in the same house during my entire life. This house has seen my life go through enormous transitions. It's held my mutual tears & laughter, hosted numerous gatherings, warmed my heart & body, inspired decoration, benefited from kitchen dance parties, housed guests, watched the dogs mature & age, functioned as my nest/office/ground...but truthfully throughout these last five years its proved itself to be my HOME. What started out as a month by month rental agreement with the potential to only last six months and that every year I've questioned whether it would be better to move on elsewhere...this home has remained steadfast and grounded. In March (or potentially next month...even though it's slightly before I financially wanted but internally I'm oh so ready...), this house will truly return to be just that...my (& the animals') home. What a five years it's witnessed, but what a steady blessing it's been and continues to be....
I'm grateful, so grateful, for my home.
(...and ironically, more than likely....I have no doubt that this space will probably get shared again sooner than I might imagine. :))
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Fall 2015 Hikes & Portland Hiking
One thing I'm pretty serious about trying to maintain is self-care. Last term was much busier and I felt way more stressed adjusting to the new job than I had hoped, but I still tried to get the dogs & I on some sort of a trail at least 2x a month. Some hikes were with others and may or may not have included the dogs. But nothing restores me quite like being deep in the woods, hanging out with God & creation, noticing the changing seasons, recognizing how small I am in regards to the planet, and enjoying the pure happiness that the dogs exude. Almost all of these locations (minus Lewis River) are 1.5 hours or less from my front door.....which might just be yet another advertisement for why Oregon is an incredible place to live (although the secret is out...Oregon no longer is a hidden gem)...
Larch Mountain (14 miler in the Gorge, 7 miles up & reverse, start at Multnomah Falls):
Angel's Rest to Devil's Rest (12 miler in the Gorge):
Eagle Creek to Tunnel Falls (12 miler in the Gorge):
Gayles Creek (Tillmook Forest 6 mile trail run):
Council Crest (4 miles in the city):
Lewis River (14 miler in SW Washington):
Twin Lakes to Frog Lake (8 mile loop near Mt Hood):
White River (3 snowy miles, base of Mt Hood):
Palmeer Pt/Barlow Road Loop (6 snowy miles near Mt Hood):
I feel incredibly fortunate to live where I do and to have the ability to manipulate my schedule at times to allow for us to get up to a trail head midweek. (Although what I typically don't mention is that I do a lot of prepping & grading on weekends....and that Roxi is a bit of an aggressor sometimes so we prefer weekdays when it's less likely to have lots of extra people/dogs on trail to deal with :))
I get a lot of requests from friends or people new to Portland looking for a decent hike to go on, and truthfully I have several main standbys but I also frequently use a variety of backpacking/trail books and oregonhikers.org to find new options. If you want Gorge specific hikes, look here. If you want Mt. Hood specific hikes, here. I've used the site for five years now and while not all the descriptions are always 100% on point, it's still been an incredible resource. The site used to be more Portland specific, but I've been glad to see it branching out to the entire state of Oregon, as there is SO much more to the state besides just this area. (Can you tell I'm originally from a smaller town in Oregon?!) :)
My standby trails without a doubt are: Gayles Creek & Wilson River Trails in Tillamook Forest, as they're the closest lengthy forest trails to me. Forest Park's trails are technically 10 minutes closer but they're heavily traveled by people these days (although they're great for trail running)....
In the fall I typically hit up Eagle Creek once, also heavily popular (although less so in fall) and a major backpacking trail in summer. Once a summer and at least once a winter, I travel the Twin Lakes loop. At least once a winter I also do White River, but if you go on the weekend it's a challenge to bypass the families that are having a fun time sledding here too. Once a year, I also tend to do one of the Multnomah Falls options. The rest of the time I try to find something new in SW Washington, the Gorge, or near Mt Hood...unless I have the time & money to make a trek over to Central (3-4 hours away) or Southern Oregon (4+ hours) :) Not all trails are always well signed (it's a good idea to have an actual trail map from a store like REI) and I'm not going to lie, even with the trail "skills" and numerous miles on trail that I have I can't count the number of times I've lost the next leg of the trail (downed trees, snowed over, darkness, overgrown trails, etc) and had to contemplate backtracking before being able to navigate my way on. Next major purchase once I have some debts paid off might just be an expensive GPS system to load maps on....
But altogether, always stoked to get us to a trail head and to start venturing onto a trail. Here's hoping we can get weekly or every other week hikes in this term!
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